Since the start of my Teenage, I have been suffering from a troublesome state of mind. I feel like as if I have grown more than my age. Sometimes I consider it as a sign of maturity but sometimes it feels like drowning into the dungeons beneath the oceans. I never ever wanted to be an introvert but here I am, lost in my own selves. This only ‘I’ in my life seems to have taken away all my joys. I literally have to push my inner soul to accept the things around me. My family knows this situation of mine, but their conversations with me to solve this issue has been of no use so far. Right now I am sitting in front of my laptop, want to express my heart out; the battles I have been doing with my ego and with my ‘I’.
I seriously don’t want to blame the Education systems but yet I do blame this Materialistic approach of the society for this. It has been making me and I don’t know how many people like me to race for it. The pressure of elders and their fantasies seeing us wealthy (so called successful nowadays) is where your trouble begins. This modern day comparisons is injecting in us very negative ambitions to race for your own, neglect others and show off others with your A grade results, your cars, your lifestyles, your foods and all the worldly stuffs you can compete others with. The aspiration to win this race has seriously affected me, my thinking, my soul and my aims in life. I am literally standing at an abyss where at one side there is a darkness and on the other side a mentally disturbing race to win (in order to be successful in the sight of many).
So now, after hundreds of times of overthinking and battling with my own ego, I have reached to a conclusion to nip this problem in the bud. I am so apologetic to myself and to the whole world whatsoever they think. I never meant to live a life like this or never will. I have to live my own life and I will make my own dimensions of living it. I, Abdullah at this very moment 20/12/2018 9.25 p.m. (Pakistan Time) is quitting this materialistic race because I have decided to live in the moments, and after all want to have a stress free life.
I am extremely Thank you to everyone who read out my blog. I am also apologetic to people who found it depressing :D. I literally had no intention of it as I just wanted to speak my heart out. Please do like, share and most importantly comment to let me know what you think about it. Happy reading 🙂